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Same-Sex Upheld, The Battle Continues
8 hours ago
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Lil Froggy Vader B
No Waffles
Later that day in church, the mom went to talk to the priest. She said: "Father, my boys just won't stop swearing and I don't know what to do."
"Well, have you tried smacking them?" the priest asked.
"No," she replied. "Doesn't the church look down on that?"
"Well," the priest said, "yes, but in some cases we'll make an exception."
The next day, the two boys came down for breakfast and she asked Tommy what he wanted to eat.
Tommy said: "Gimme some fucking waffles."
The mother backhanded Tommy so hard that he flew out of his chair and landed against the door.
Shocked and terrified by this, Timmy became very quiet. His mother asked him what he wants for breakfast, and he replied,
"Well you can bet your sweet ass I don't want no fucking waffles!"
*Please people, don't "smack" your kids. You can want to, but don't. And "smacking" is far different than spanking."
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
You are a Romantic Realist
You are a Romantic Realist |
 Okay, so you fall in the middle. You know that love isn't like a greeting card... Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings. You are the best of both worlds Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious. Almost any guy can find balance with you. |
What's Sexy About Your Name?
You Are Passionate Sexy |
 You are sexy because you are torrid. You are a fiery lover. You have an extremely high sex drive. And you don't do much to control it. You crave variety and excitement. If someone interests you, you'll pursue them... full force. Your passion is all consuming. There's nothing that can quell your sexual energy. Sexual freedom is very important to you. You don't like following rules. You feel that anything between consenting adults should be fair game. |
What's Sexy About Your Name?
How in the hell did it get all of that from Monique?? I have to go play w/ something like Bertha now.
The Five Factor Personality Test: Who Are You?
You are Extroverted, Conscientious, Agreeable and Open |
 Extroversion: You have high extroversion. You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends. You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation. Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go"! Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great admirer of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything. |
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday Musings - Jay Leno
However, it's an even worse idea to take chocolate away from a woman with PMS."
- Jay Leno
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Unconscious Mutterings 317
1. Carpet :: Drapes *edited*
2. William :: Shakespeare
3. Oh! :: Baby!!
4. Board game :: Trouble
5. Sunlight :: Darkness
6. Delay :: ed Gratification
7. Winner :: Loser
8. Concubine :: Used
9. Comatose :: Out
10. Satisfy :: Urges
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Sugar Honey Iced Tea
After these many many viewings, it was about 2 minutes ago that I realized what the zebra meant when he ran from the lion on the beach of Madagascar and yelled "OH Sugar Honey Iced Tea!".
Friday, February 20, 2009
t3@(h3r t3@(h3r
Big B came home today w/ his progress report. As he is handing it to me he begins explaining that there is a bad grade on it.
Now, I've had a few bad grades "back in the day" ((and yes, it hurts a little to say that..... no it hurts that it is true)) and braced myself for the worst.
Math 98, Reading 94, Science 95..... Social Studies 75. I guess for a straight A student a C might be a bad grade, but I was like "is that it?"
He was very distraught. I signed the progress report and then wrote a short email to his teacher. In said note, I found myself carefully choosing my words.
Ending the note w/ a mention of how much Big B has enjoyed her as his teacher this year.
((psst, that's where the kiss-ass came in))
Thursday, February 19, 2009
You Asshole !!!
If you take up two parking spaces for one car… you are an asshole! (unless you have to get your wheelchair out of your car)
If you fart while passing in front of people in the movie theater… you are an asshole!
If you complain about the government, yet don't vote… you are an asshole!
If you drive 50 mph in the far left lane on the highway and don't notice all the cars backed up behind you… you are an asshole!
If you complain about the price of gas, yet drive a car that gets eight miles per gallon… you are an asshole!
If you watch 28 hours of television a week and then say that you don't read because you don't have time… you are an asshole!
If you commit a crime, get caught and sent to prison, but think it is unfair… you are an asshole!
If you send chain letters of any kind (this includes those stupid e-mails that you are going to make a ton of money or some sick child will benefit because so-and-so company will track your e-mails even though that is impossible)… you are an asshole!
If you are Christian Bale… you are an asshole!
If you put your makeup on while driving… you are an asshole! ((Guilty))
If you blast your horn at the driver in front of you a split second after the light turns green… you are an asshole! ((Totally Unnerving))
If you stay in the movie theater while your baby screeches his head off… you are an asshole!
If you have a lame homepage that takes forever to download because you have cheesy music and way too many graphics… you are an asshole!
If you think welfare is an occupation… you are an asshole!
If you talk shit about people without knowing the whole story… you're an asshole!
If you complain about your weight problem and still eat at McDonalds… you are an asshole!
If you yell at people on t.v. to do something even though you know they can't hear you… you are an asshole!
If you ask stupid questions and then get pissed off when returned with stupid answers…you are an asshole!
If you loudly entertain the whole bus/park/lobby/ beach/neighborhood with your boom box, car stereo or iPod blasting so loud in your ears that we can all still hear it… you are an asshole!
If you call for a pizza, tell the guy to hold, then ask what everybody wants…you are an asshole!
If you write "U" instead of "you," or "sux" instead of "sucks," or "klik" instead of "click" or "kreative" instead of "creative"…you are an asshole! ((Does LOL LAMO LAL BTW BRB etc count? If so, Guilty))
If you ask every Asian person you meet, "Do you know karate?"… you are an asshole!
If you think only women should cook…you are an asshole!
If you hold people up in line at the store to pay for a one dollar pack of gum with a credit card… you are an asshole!
If you ask someone a question but don't listen to the answer…you are an asshole!
When you are the boss and send out an email telling everyone in the office to show up on time and then stroll in 30 minutes late everyday and leave at 10 to five…you are an asshole!
If you make a list of what constitutes an asshole… you are an asshole!
((Guess I'm an asshole on a few of these. Lots more to add to the list. Can you think of some?))
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Doe Snot, Beca Sue and SoulMates
Just a note to say that regardless how many times I type them, Does Not and Because ALWAYS become Doe Snot and Beca Sue. It really only becomes frustrating when today, I sent a memo informing them that Mr. Mc Blah Blah is adamant that he doe snot blah blah blah becasue blah blah blathering blah.
Unfortunately for me, this is not a new issue either. It has pretty much always been that way.
Anyhoo..... I then got home and saw this, which made me giggle.... Guess since I gave them all a giggle today, I deserved one of my own. Ok, I also giggled at the does snot. it's just such a random thought.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Monday Musings - Author Unknown
"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?" - Bitter Author Unknown
Sunday Comics v32....
....on Monday 'cuz I'm off work and spreading that Sunday feeling throughout the day today.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Unconscious Mutterings 316
I say.... and you think....
- Be mine ::
- Ecstatic ::
- Orderly ::
- Sebastian ::
- Sore ::
- Don’t need ::
- Rockstar ::
- Tinfoil ::
- Addiction ::
- Where? ::
Play along on your page or in the comments. Jot down your answers and click "there's more" to see mine.....
- Be mine :: Valentine
- Ecstatic :: Excited
- Orderly :: Conduct
- Sebastian :: Bach
- Sore :: Shoulders
- Don’t need ::More DRAMA
- Rockstar ::I Wanna Be A Big Rockstar
- Tinfoil :: Spaceman Hat ((the boys and I have done this... who hasn't))
- Addiction :: Weakness
- Where? :: Who?
............... please tell me if you post on your page, so we can go see.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Dear Cupid, Explain this shit.....
Yesterday was a wonderful day. I was pampered, fawned over and given gorgeous flowers and a basket of cushy foo foo stuff lovingly put together.
Life is good, right?
That was followed by an amazing dinner at one of my favorite restaurants.
I then cuddled in bed, watching tv, relaxing. Then.... we watched a movie. A movie that should have been a reaffirmation of love and commitment....
The movie, Fireproof, is strong. It focuses on very difficult, very real, marital problems.
Just as the movie reached the harshest point before it began turning for the good, J got up and left the room.
A few minutes later he returned briefly doing the rounds, locking doors etc and then he went to bed.
Seems simple. It PISSED me off.
So I sat there on the couch, weeping for the story of a man and woman finding their way back to one another, alone.
Seeing things through.
Sticking to it.
Making the commitment to figure it out because neither are giving up.
That's the attitude in my house. That is the feeling coming through. So last night affected me so deeply, and yes, over a movie, because he gave up.
Or at least that's the most sense I can make of it at 9 30 this morning.
What a pisser......
((Update: Yeah I'm emotional, and yes I am tying too many unrelated issues together giving them a greater meaning than they should have. But love makes you a little insane I think.))
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Monday Musings - James Matthew Barrie
"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." - James Matthew Barrie
I Want My Retardment
One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.....
They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape.
Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night — early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
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